At the beginning of my journey into discovering I had been in an abusive relationship, I had not heard of the terms coercive control, emotional abuse or psychological abuse. To me, abuse was physical; therefore, because my husband had never physically hurt me, he hadn’t abused me. The truth was very different.
Coercive control became a criminal offence in England and Wales on 29th December 2015. In Scotland, it became an offence on 1st April 2019 and in Northern Ireland in March 2021. Each countries version is slightly different, but coercive control is now an offence in all parts of the United Kingdom. As I was facing the truth about my husband’s treatment of me, I had to come to terms with the fact that even if I had have realised what he was doing was abusive, there appeared to be very little I could do about it at the time. I am glad to see that now anyone who is being abused in this way can take action against the abuser.
To the layman, like me, the definitions of both coercive control and emotional abuse do seem very similar, as does psychological abuse. At times it is very confusing. However, whether it is coercive control, emotional abuse or psychological abuse, they are all abuse and are all invisible. Nobody should be subjected to them.
The definition of coercive control:
Coercive control is a pattern of controlling behaviour by someone you are personally connected to. The perpetrator erodes the person’s autonomy and self-esteem to gain control. To do this they can use humiliation, intimidation and threats. They can also deprive the person of their means for independence and controlling their everyday behaviour. It can lead to physical abuse, but even when it does not, coercive control is a type of emotional abuse that can cause psychological trauma.
The definition of emotional abuse:
Emotional abuse is to intentionally inflict acts that include confinement, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, verbal assault and any other act that may weaken the sense of dignity, identity and self-worth of the person they are abusing. It is also known as psychological abuse
The definition of psychological abuse:
Psychological abuse is the intentional and regular use of words and non-physical acts with the sole purpose of blaming, hurting, frightening and manipulating an individual both emotionally and mentally. They can also ‘gas-light’ the person.