Articles
Sticks and Stones…….
‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me' According to the website phrases.org.uk the origins of this saying go back to 1862 if not earlier. It implies that someone may be able to physically hurt you; they won’t be able to hurt you with...
Using pets as form of control
Before I start to talk about how my husband used our cats as a form of control, I will be honest with you; I found this article incredibly hard to write. Many tears have been shed in the process. How he treated the boys and the cats I find harder to deal with than...
The CV of an Emotionally Abused Woman
How do you compose a CV after many years of being out of the workforce in any conventional sense? I joke about my CV having more holes in it than a sieve, but in reality it isn’t funny it is the truth. There aren’t just gaps; there is a lack of conventional...
Christmas Past
For many years I have had a love/hate relationship with Christmas. As a child I looked forward to it, what would Father Christmas bring me in my stocking? Being an only child I loved spending time with my cousins. Christmas during my teenage years had both the...
Thoughts of Suicide
WARNING: Reading about how people can have thoughts of suicide can be triggering. If you are feeling vulnerable it may be advisable for you not to read any further. I never thought of myself as one who would want to take my own life, until one day, it all became...
The Nanny Agency and Other Money Making Schemes
I didn’t take his comment seriously when he said he “planned to retire at forty”. I should have done. Throughout our time together, he was forever coming up with money making schemes. Some did have potential; others were pure fantasy. Every so often he would come...
Coercive Control, Emotional Abuse or Psychological abuse
At the beginning of my journey into discovering I had been in an abusive relationship, I had not heard of the terms coercive control, emotional abuse or psychological abuse. To me, abuse was physical; therefore, because my husband had never physically hurt me, he...
My personal experience of being emotionally abused Part 2
Do they use your past against you and even weaponise it? In those early days of getting to know one another, I told him a couple of things about my past. Little did I know that as time went on he would use those incidents against me. Do they see you as an extension...
My personal experience of being emotionally abused Part 1
Just when you think you have finally come to the conclusion that there were no more incidents of abuse that you were subjected to, you are faced with the reality that there was a lot more. This is what happened to me when compiling this list. As I was writing, I...
What is emotional abuse?
If you are experiencing any of the following, then you are being subjected to emotional abuse Are they constantly checking up on you by wanting to know what you are doing and where you are? Are they continually pointing out your faults, mistakes, and weaknesses?...
My Personal Story of Being Constantly Monitored
Come rain, come shine, come sick children whenever my husband phoned I had to stop what I was doing, answer the phone and spend as long as he wanted to talk to me. Should I complain or say I had other things to do, he would hang up. I would panic and phone him back...
What is Reproductive Coercion?
If you answer yes to any of the following questions you are being or have been subjected to reproductive coercion. It should be noted that reproductive coercion isn’t confined to men using it against women, but also to women using it against men. Are you being...
My experience of reproductive coercion
From the outset of the relationship with my husband, I was open and honest about my experience of using contraception. I had been on the pill – two different types – but had some side effects from both. My doctor at the suggested I came off the pill as at the time...
My experience of being financially abused
When I was putting together the information about the different forms financial control can take, I had one of those “ouch” moments. It happened when I realised just how many of them I was subjected to. I had listed thirty-eight; out of those thirty-eight, he used...
What is Financial Abuse
Financial abuse can take many forms: Avoids or refuses to pay child support Believes they are entitled to your money or assets Becomes angry over money issues and then resorts to other kinds of abuse like name calling and physical abuse Blames you for their...
